Always Eat Alone (sometimes)

A friend of mine recently read the book Never Eat Alone, and since he's been singing the praises of networking. Yes, networking is important.

I have always seen the value in networking, but I get a little cranky when networking gets all of the attention at the expense of well... being alone. Being alone is really important.

I recall a networking buff extolling the virtues of practicing small talk at every possible opportunity, like when your in a cab. When I'm alone in a cab with a non-talkative driver, I see it as an opportunity to think and reflect. Maybe I am just a misanthrope, but I actually like, and require, time alone with my thoughts.

Since I began working in France, one of the customs that has stuck out is lunch. In the office I work in, everybody takes about a full hour for lunch, and almost always in a group. In my office in New York, it is normal to eat alone at your computer in about 10 minutes, eating socially is the exception for most.

Part of the difference is due to the fact that in France, lunch is generally the main meal of the day -- so having a sandwich for lunch would be like having a sandwich for dinner in the US. Another reason, is that in France, eating is considered a social activity and not just an unfortunate biological function. I have to say that, in general, I am much more partial to the French attitude then the American.

However, I still do miss eating alone sometimes.

Anybody who does creative work (which I count software development as), must find a balance between being alone and being social. We need time alone to think and to create, and we need time with people to communicate ideas, share our work, and get a break from being alone. Going between the two requires a shift in gears that can take time. So, taking an hour break for a social lunch, can easily add up to an hour for lunch plus an hour afterwards getting back into the mindset you were in before lunch.

So, when you eat alone, you are free to work on the problem you failed to solve before lunch, to catch up on your reading, to think about something entirely different, and you can preserve your mindset. Consider of this the next time you feel a pang of shame as you hunker down in front of your computer with a sandwich. Don't let the networking people guilt you into going out for lunch everyday. You have nothing to be ashamed of (as long as you keep the mustard off of the keyboard).